Resources

IVF treatment can impose heightened sensitivities. Friends who achieve a pregnancy and want to share their news may be unaware that IVF recipients can be distressed to hear about other pregnancies.

Mother, surrogate and child share their story The three videos below show different perspectives about surrogacy including those of an intended mother, a surrogate and one presenting a child’s outlook. Commissioning mother – Fiona After nine long years of infertility treatment failure and four miscarriages, Fiona’s sister, Laura, offered to be her “oven to cook her embryos”. After much discussion and a few glasses of red wine, they decided to proceed. Two years later, Pippy was born and she has brought more joy than Fiona could ever have imagined. Not many mothers get to cut their daughter’s umbilical cord but Fiona did!

Listen to this interview with Stewart and his children talking about being a sperm donor. “My advice would be to tell. Certainly it’s never as bad as it seems to give this information to other members of your family. You know, I think, you couch it in as simple terms as possible, give as much information as you feel comfortable with and let them absorb it and let them if they want to come to you with anything else they will." Stewart.

Barbara, after nearly quarter of a century of keeping the secret of her daughters' conceptions, tells them they are donor conceived. Lauren, who was 21 when she was told of her conception, tells us her experience of being on the receiving end of this news.

Jacqui and Sarah provide us with their thoughts and experiences in talking to young children about how they used a sperm donor to become a family. “It’s understandable to be apprehensive, of course it is. It can be quite a scary and challenging thing but in the end the important thing is tell kids early. I think that it’s really important; it’s something that they always know.”

Listen to this interview with Kim and her children talking about using an egg donor to become a family. "I’m Kim, I used an egg donor for my 11 year old twins. And I have a genetic son who is 16".

Advice from an experienced mother of donor egg twins and clinical psychologist Kim Paleg. Kim stresses that there is a difference between privacy and secrecy. The more she told others; the easier it became. Over time it stopped being Kim’s story and became her twins’ story and it was they who could choose if and whom they would tell.

Despite having their sons in the secretive era of donor conception in the1980’s, Kerry and her husband Greg had concerns that their story would come out later and so chose to be very open with their sons and their extended family from the start. They are so glad they did as a recent medical diagnosis requiring a bone marrow transplant would have revealed the secret at a very traumatic time.

Elizabeth, mother of three donor-conceived children, talks about how she told her adult children of their conception.

Karen tells of having her children Sarah and William using donor embryos.