Finding out at this time can lead to feelings of disbelief, confusion, hurt, betrayal and anger. Some people who find out that they are donor-conceived as adults describe feeling shock - although some may have wondered whether they may have been adopted or the child of an affair. You may need time to process this new information and what it means for you. It may be difficult to understand why you were not informed. Finding out at a time of conflict, from genetic testing, or from someone other than your parents – might make this discovery particularly difficult.
This new information may cause you to question all that you thought you knew about yourself and your identity. Learning something like this takes time to process and can be emotionally challenging. You may also question your family relationships. Who else knows? Who should you talk to?
If you are thinking about seeking contact with your donor, there is no need to rush decisions. Allow yourself to time to think through this information first.
It is important you have support and understanding at this time and not everyone may understand the impact this information can have on someone. You may find it helpful to contact VARTA and seek out support from other donor-conceived people.
Experiences of donor conception: Louise's story
Experiences of donor conception: Ross' story
My experience finding out I was donor conceived: Kim's story