You may prefer to donate to someone you know well or who you have met recently. Knowing the recipient parents provides you with the benefit of being able to talk to them and gives you the opportunity to donate to someone you like and has a similar view as to what contact you might have in the future.
Some donors have occasional contact with the child and their parents, some have a regular ongoing close relationship, and some have co-parenting relationships. Co-parenting arrangements are more common for lesbian and one-parent families. It is essential to seek counselling and independent legal advice before proceeding in this direction. A While a written agreement is not legally binding, it is often recommended and used.
Before you donate it is important to discuss in detail:
- what ongoing contact you all would like to have in the future
- what your role will be
- what the child will call you.
Some people find it useful to develop a written agreement. Although this is not a legal document, it helps all parties be clear about their intentions and expectations.
Whether you plan to have a little contact or a lot, it is important to discuss:
- How do you think your donation will affect your relationship with the recipient parents?
- Do you think your relationship with a potential child born from your donation would be different from your relationship with a child conceived without your donation?
- What contact will you have with the child?
- What will your role be?
- What will they call you?
- Who in your circle of friends and family do you think should be aware of the donation?
It is important that you and the recipient parents share similar views. For the sake of the child born, it is vital that you can communicate well, trust and respect each other.
My decision to be an egg donor: Kylie's story
Sperm donor meets the family created from his donation: Adrian's story
Parenting and child well-being in families created using gamete donation