Stopping IVF treatment - coping strategies during treatment

I think while you’re going through treatment it’s important to find sources of support, we’re all different.  For me I can’t imagine going through treatment without connecting with other patients.  It was really important to me others in the same situation. And not everybody operates that way. Some people don’t do that, maybe that’s not what they need.

Whatever you do I think you have to be looking after yourself as best you can and acknowledging that this is a really, really hard time in life, while you’re going through that infertility experience and through IVF, you don’t know what the outcome’s going to be. 

So you are living in a very conditional kind of a way potentially for a long time.  It takes its toll on you sort of health wise and socially and emotionally and everything really.  So I think you have to recognise it for what it is, it’s a big deal no matter what messages we get from society that say; oh well, just do IVF and you’ll be alright or whatever it is.  I think it’s a really hard time.

You have to find what works for you.  And I think one thing that can come out from the experience is that you do have to find your own strengths in a way.  It sounds a bit "New Agey".  But I think there’s something about being confronted with all the decisions that you have to make that can actually force you to become clear about what you have to do and how far you are going to go.  All of that side of things.  So it can be quite a strengthening experience in a way.  Having said that I think at the time there are periods where it’s just bleak.

I think, for me, in my worst times I felt as if it were something that was never going to get better and that my life would be over if I didn’t have a child.  So if there’s no baby there’s nothing.  And I think it can certainly feel that way.

I think gradually something began to shift in me and I began to look at...  is that so, is that really the case?  But I think the process and the journey toward healing is a really long one potentially and not an easy one and not a superficial kind of journey.