Time to tell

Audio
Donor conception

Journey to parenthood using donated sperm

Listen to this three part series on Dianne's journey to parenthood as a single mother using donated sperm, talking to her children about donor conception and meeting her sperm donor, Adrian. 

"My first child is five and a half now and my second child is 20 months.  It wasn’t “so Mum who’s my Dad” type of question.  It was “other kids have Dads where’s mine? So it was up to me to say that she did have a Dad and explain to her that he didn’t live with us".



Video
Surrogacy

Mother and son talk surrogacy

Karen and her son Matt speak about surrogacy at VARTA's Time to Tell Seminar.  Surrogacy was not permitted years ago in Australia so Karen and her husband needed to travel to the US.  Through a surrogacy agency they found a surrogate who remains a friend.  Matt has grown up knowing her and the reasons why she carried him for his parents.  He says, 'I'm glad it was never a sercret... everyone has a right to know who they are and where they come from.

Audio
Donor conception

Single mother's perspective using sperm donation to become a family

Anna discussing using a sperm donor to conceive her son Alexander and discusses the challenges as a single parent. In part two, Anna talks about how she and Alexander talk about his donor conception.

 

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Audio
Donor conception

Talking to children about being a donor

Listen to this interview with Stewart and his children talking about being a sperm donor.

“My advice would be to tell. Certainly it’s never as bad as it seems to give this information to other members of your family.  You know, I think, you couch it in as simple terms as possible, give as much information as you feel comfortable with and let them absorb it and let them if they want to come to you with anything else they will." Stewart.

 

Audio
Donor conception

Talking to young children about using a sperm donor to become a family

Jacqui and Sarah provide us with their thoughts and experiences in talking to young children about how they used a sperm donor to become a family.

“It’s understandable to be apprehensive, of course it is.  It can be quite a scary and challenging thing but in the end the important thing is tell kids early.  I think that it’s really important; it’s something that they always know.”

Audio
Donor conception

Talking to your children about using an egg donor to become a family

Listen to this interview with Kim and her children talking about using an egg donor to become a family.

"I’m Kim, I used an egg donor for my 11 year old twins.  And I have a genetic son who is 16".

 

Video
Donor conception

Telling others about donor conception

Advice from an experienced mother of donor egg twins and clinical psychologist Kim Paleg.
Kim stresses that there is a difference between privacy and secrecy. The more she told others; the easier it became. Over time it stopped being Kim’s story and became her twins’ story and it was they who could choose if and whom they would tell.

Video
Donor conception

Telling their son about donor conception

Despite having their sons in the secretive era of donor conception in the1980’s, Kerry and her husband Greg had concerns that their story would come out later and so chose to be very open with their sons and their extended family from the start. They are so glad they did as a recent medical diagnosis requiring a bone marrow transplant would have revealed the secret at a very traumatic time.

Video
Donor conception

Telling your child they were conceived using donor embryos

Karen tells of having her children Sarah and William using donor embryos.

Video
Donor conception

The value of having information about your donor

Brin found that as her kids reached 10 to 11 years of age they began to ask many questions about their donor. Unfortunately, as she had used an anonymous donor she can’t answer these. In retrospect she wishes she had used an identity-released donor and urges people considering donation to think about the normal questions their child is likely to ask and to use a donor whose identity can be known to the child.

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