My shattering heart

My shattering heart

My dream of being a mother was shattering

This piece was created on 13th July, 2005 during an art therapy session in response to the theme “Beyond Words”. After every negative result from IVF I felt a piece of my heart break. My dream of being a mother was shattering. The process is not for the fainthearted, particularly if you were going alone as a single woman, needing to use donor sperm. The grief of a negative result is difficult to explain- how can you grieve something you could not hold? Yet the visual bond I had with the embryo prior to it being transferred was enough. It was my child and it was lost with a negative result. My heart broke each time. I lost 14 that were transferred before I experienced the joy of pregnancy that is now my daughter.

- Leanne