The missing piece

The missing piece

Photo: by Moira Callegari
Throughout my entire life I felt a piece of me was missing.
Throughout my entire life I felt a piece of me was missing. Finding it would complete the picture of who I am and help me understand the origins of many of my traits. I was seven when I found out that I was donor-conceived. My mum and dad sat my younger brother and I at the end of their bed and told us that we were created in a different way

to other children. They also said that they were still our parents and that they loved us. Mum gave us a cartoon book, which detailed how we were created. I remember understanding what I was being told but at such a young age I never gave it a second thought. I started searching for my donor in April 2014, after my second shoulder re-construction.

The doctors said: “We don’t know why your shoulders are like this, you were obviously born with it, it’s genetic. Mum is an only child and shoulder problems don’t run on her side of the family. I really wanted to look for this person and get some medical history and I wanted to

Know more about my donor. I first went to Births, Deaths and Marriages. They had his last address but from 23 or 24years ago, since it hadn’t been updated. Therefore they were unable to find him. After getting

Over that initial shock, I continued my research and found VARTA’s website. They put me onto the clinic, who gave me two whole pages of non-identifying information about my donor in his own handwriting. I found out that my donor code was “JO” that he was married at

The time of his donation, already had children and was a mid-wife. The information also included a quote, his philosophy of life: “Man cannot discover new oceans, unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore”. ‘Then in the next few weeks, an amazing thing happened. The clinic emailed me that they had found one of my half siblings and wanted to know whether I wanted to make contact with him. I also discovered that I had 13 half siblings, 11 boys and two girls. ‘The first time I met Robert my donor sibling was an overwhelming, amazing day.

We sat on a hill overlooking the beach and chatted for hours. We shared photos and memories and discovered that we had many similar interests, as well as physical traits. ‘I wasn’t always open about telling people that I was donor-conceived. But last year I decided to tell everyone on Facebook and just get it out in the open. I basically said:

'Everyone I’m donor conceived and I’m proud of it.' Now that I’ve shared this with the people in my life, I feel so much better. It’s like a weight off my shoulders.

Second of December 2015 I had the phone call that would finally help me piece together my own puzzle. My donor had been found! I wasn't prepared for this day to finally arrive and I certainly wasn't prepared for him and his family to be so open to contact. It was such a warm welcome into his family with two more brothers and also two sisters to meet. Nothing could prepare me for the wave of emotion that would hit me meeting these relatives and learning more about myself.Through this ongoing experience I finally feel at peace that the search is over, and like I finally understand exactly who I am.

- Chloe Allworthy