Making the first contact

"My name is Laura and I believe that I am your biological daughter. Over the years I have thought a lot about what to say to you. There is so much I would like to tell you. I would like to firstly thank you for donating and giving me the gift of life. Without your help my Mum and Dad would not be parents and I would not be here.... Laura".

Contact between people connected via donor conception treatment - but have never met before - may be emotionally challenging for all concerned. Contact affects not just the people directly involved, but also their families and partners. The process may answer questions, but can also create changes in your life. Change can be stressful - even if is positive.

Contact is more likely to be positive if everyone:

  • is well prepared
  • take their time and get to know each other gradually
  • has realistic expectations
  • has an open mind
  • communicates honestly about what they would like to happen
  • respects other people’s points of view and their family situation - as well as their own
  • is clear about boundaries
  • does not feel pressured
  • has support.


Making contact may be exciting yet nerve wracking. Contact the Donor Conception Register Services donor-linking counsellors or telephone 03 8601 5250 for support and advice.​