Why tell

"I strongly believed they had an absolute right to know about their genetic heritage and I would be cheating them if I did not have the courage to speak up. I feared them finding out accidentally in the future when I was no longer around."  Barbara

A generation ago, parents were often advised not to tell their children about how they were conceived. Research now indicates this was not necessarily best for the child.

On the contrary, children told from an earlier age do not consider it a 'big deal'. Only when the truth is kept from them over a long-time does it create issues.


The reality is that young children do not reject their parents because they are donor-conceived or gestated by a surrogate, as some parents mistakenly fear. They know you have been there from the beginning. If children are told early, the information feels completely normal for them. The longer you keep a secret, the harder it is for you to tell, and for your child to process this new information.