Finding a donor

"For Sam and I, we couldn’t accept donation to start our family from a person we didn’t also respect. Donating and receiving is not to be taken lightly from either side. It’s complex. It’s emotional. It’s challenging. But it’s also exciting and rewarding. Donation is life changing – for everyone involved. The power to help create a human being is the most powerful gift anyone can give." Alison

Once you are comfortable to proceed with donor conception, the next step is to find the right donor. There are a number of different options available and it is not necessary to go overseas. Consider not only what would meet your needs but most importantly those of the child to be born.

Ask yourself: ‘Can I imagine my child approving of our choice of donor and the way we have gone about this process?’

Using a clinic donor

Some people prefer to use a donor who has been recruited by the clinic although this is not always possible. Most clinics have sperm donor programs. Some also recruit egg and embryo donors. There may be a waiting list to access treatment if donor numbers are low. Please check with your ART clinic.

All donations must be altruistic - meaning donors are not allowed to be paid for donating (apart from reimbursement of expenses). Clinic donors are limited to donating to ten women (including their current or former partner).

Donors are medically screened. They (and their partner) have counselling to inform them of their rights and responsibilities before donating.

All donors consent to their identifying details (name, date of birth, last known address) being released to the person created when they turn 18. Donors complete a donor profile giving some information about themselves including why they donated, their hobbies, personality, appearance, and whether they are open to being contacted before the child is an adult. Potential recipients are usually able to read these profiles and, if possible, choose which donor they prefer.

Sperm donor meets the family created using his donation: Adrian's story

Using a donor you know

Some recipient(s) may prefer to try to have a child using a known donor, who could be an acquaintance, friend or family member. Potential donors are everywhere; however they will not realise your situation unless you let it be known. You may need to consider being proactive and stepping outside your comfort zone. The more people who know that you require a donor, the more chance you will have of finding one. Your potential donor may not be someone you know directly. It may be that a friend of a friend has been considering donating and offers to help you. Word of mouth or social media can be useful tools for reaching others in your personal networks. You may consider advertising for your donor.

The following points may be useful in deciding whether a person is a suitable donor for you, including how to raise the possibility of them donating to you:

Consider what criteria you might be looking for in a donor, for example what level of involvement do you wish to have with them after a potential child is born?
How important are aspects such as the donor's appearance, religion, personal characteristics, morals and beliefs, level of education etc
Why is the person donating to you?
What ongoing contact will you have with the donor?
Will the donor feel some type of obligation to donate to you - whether you intend it or not?
What factors would exclude someone potentially becoming a donor for you?
Consider the time and the place that you wish to raise the topic of donation so you both feel comfortable.
Involving your partner and the donor’s partner (if any) in conversations is essential to get a clear understanding of how each person feels about the decision. It is important to be open and honest. A partner's consent is also required if your potential donor is to proceed.
Allow your potential donor and their partner plenty of time and space to make their decision. The potential donor needs to consider the implications for them, as well as their immediate and extended family. If your potential donor or their partner decides that donation is not for them or would only proceed out of a sense of obligation to you, thank them and reassure them that it is better to withdraw.

Finding an egg donor

Advertising for a donor

You can also advertise for a donor. In Victoria, it is a legal requirement to have an advertisement for a donor or donation approved before it is published.

If you wish to advertise for an egg, sperm or embryo donor or advertise that you wish to donate, you will need to apply for approval from the Health Minister.

You will need to send your draft advertisement for approval to:
Minister of Health
Department of Human Services
GPO BOX 4541
Melbourne VIC 3000

Finding an egg donor

"My special donor buddy": Sandra's story

What to say in your advertisement

It is often difficult to know what to say in your advertisement. You might find it helpful to look at examples of other advertisements so that you can get a feel for what works.

To attract a compatible donor, it is important your advertisement stands out and uniquely reflects you and your situation. It is a good idea to state clearly in the title and/or the opening sentence what you are seeking. It can also help for you to describe yourselves and say why you need a donor. You can include a few words explaining that the donor would be reimbursed for medical and travelling expenses.

It is worth considering your privacy by setting up a non-identifying email address, or a post office box and that you give a mobile phone number rather than a home number for this purpose.

Be prepared that it may take some time before your advertisement is successful and that not everyone who responds may be a suitable donor for you.

Examples of advertisement

Using an overseas anonymous donor

While treatment overseas may still involve the use of anonymous donation of eggs or sperm, it is not possible to use anonymous donor eggs or sperm in Australia.

Although anonymity may seem appealing, it is important to consider the impact of this on your potential child. With unknown donors, no further information or contact is possible between the donor and child. Consider that your child may want to know more about their biological and cultural background as well as their donor, whom they may want to meet when they are older.

If you would like to import donated eggs, sperm or embryos formed from donated eggs or sperm to Victoria for treatment, you need to apply to VARTA for approval to import donated material. In considering your application, VARTA must determine whether the imported eggs, sperm, or embryos will be used in a way that complies with Victorian law.

For more information on the criteria to import donated sperm, eggs or embryos formed from donated eggs or sperm into Victoria refer to our Guidelines.

The value of having information about your donor: Brin's story

“Dear rosie”: Adam's story

Tip

Finding a donor in Australia can have enormous advantages. An Australian donor has the benefit of legal protections that ensure that they can be known to your potential child, and to you, and is perhaps more likely to have a similar value set, appearance and language to your own. In many cases, apart from the obvious lower cost factor, it is also much easier for you to travel to your local clinic than head abroad.

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