Being contacted as a result of an application from your donor-conceived offspring or a recipient parent also has implications for your partner, children, and your extended family. This can be potentially very difficult if you have not told them you about your donation. VARTA staff can assist you with how best to talk to them about this.
Talking about your donation
Your family may view future contact as potentially positive which may lead to new friendships and connections for them - or they may be apprehensive about how this may impact on the time they have with you or whether it will change their relationship with you.
Partners may wonder where they fit in as they are not biologically connected to your offspring. For partners who have not been able to have children, potential contact can stir up painful feelings and this can be particularly difficult.
A donor's wife's perspective
Parents of the donor may not understand donor conception and may view this in a negative light or, conversely, may be excited about potential ‘’grandchildren’’ - especially if you have had not had children. In this case, the parents of a donor may struggle if donor offspring do not view them in the same way or feel that you do not have a parental role.
Children of donors may question your role with your donor offspring. Some may see this as an exciting development and welcome the opportunity to connect with children conceived from your donation. Others may be concerned this may change their role in the family and do not want to ‘’share’’ you. They may need reassurance that your relationship with your donor offspring is different and the love you have for them will never change.
Talking to your children about being a donor: Stuart's story